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the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:

While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.

Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.

My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.

Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.

So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”

Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.

It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.

So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.

And he bursts out laughing.

Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.

I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

  • Cashier: That'll be $4.03
  • Me: I only have $4...
  • Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
  • Me: ...........
  • Cashier: ........
  • Me: what are we?

facts-i-just-made-up:

whale-summoner:

Behind the scenes of a pipe organ. Although most people, if they think about it at all, assume that the keys are linked directly to the pipes, and that pressing a key lets compressed air flow from a reservoir, through the appropriate pipe in order to sound the note, this is simply not the case. The keys actually send messages to the person sat behind the pipes (in this case, Mary Jones, 24, of Oklahoma), telling her which pipes to blow through. The compressed air actually runs the system of pneumatic tubes which deliver the messages to Mary. The official job title associated with the position is Organ Operator, although the keyboard players used to refer to it as “The Blow Job”. It was agreed by most organ keyboardists that Barry Chuffworth (1914-1989) gave the best Blow Jobs. However, so little is known about music these days that I’d you ask any five schoolboys who gives the best Blow Jobs, they will likely all agree that it’s your mum.

I am so ashamed I didn’t write this.

(Source: bloodyantlers)

kayleefabulous:

MY ANACONDA-

image

(via ruinedchildhood)

Wearing my favorite/lucky shirt never disappoints

spukee:

in australia, we pronounce ‘gif’ as ‘OI MATE THIS FUCKIN PICTURE IS MOVIN I AM SO FUCKIN FRIED’

(Source: rubee, via zackisontumblr)

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

(Source: zephye, via ruinedchildhood)

denchgang:

never skip leg day

(Source: pleatedjeans, via ebunnies)

drake & josh

  • season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
  • season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans

kite117:

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog

(Source: mysharona1987, via ruinedchildhood)